Christmas came early

This week has been a hard week for me. I have been struggling with my loneliness again and feeling like maybe God really did forget about me and my feelings. To top it all off I was making dinner the other night and my knife was just not cutting it--literally. I have sharpened this knife every time I've used it for the past week and a half and it just doesn't seem to want to cut anything. So the other night Matt had just gotten home and I was telling him that I was kind of in a pissy mood because I had been thinking about my situation that day and how I feel so disconnected from our friends and from the Stirring. While I was talking to him I was trying to trim the fat off of some chicken but it wasn't coming off because my knife wasn't sharp enough. At this point I was trying to tell Matt how I felt, I was crying, I was trying not to mess up my makeup because we had to go to our Water Birth class that night, I had chicken slime all over my hands--so I couldn't wipe my tears, and I had just about had it with my knife. So in an instant temper tantrum I took my knife and slammed it against the cutting board as hard and loudly as I possibly could--it was very unlike me but it felt good to release some anger on the knife. I looked up and Matt's eyes were filled with terror. I felt a little bad but I was more relieved that I hadn't hurled the knife into the wall or something worse than that.

So yesterday Matt came home from work and he was hiding something behind his back. He asked me if I wanted to see my early Christmas present, and of course I said yes. From behind him he pulled out a beautiful knife, the nicest knife that has ever been in our house, it was a Wusthof. He said that he had gone to That Kitchen Place and spent almost an hour there looking at the knives and talking to the sales rep until he found the best knife possible for me. It was beautiful. I cut a bell pepper with it and I didn't even have to try to cut it, it practically cut itself; all I had to do was move the knife back and forth--no pressure needed. It was unreal! When I asked him how of our Christmas budget he had spent I almost fainted but he said he figured it was better to spend a little to buy me a knife that would last forever rather than have my other knife end up in him. :) I guess I scared him a little more that I thought the night before!

So that's the story of my early Christmas present. DON'T WORRY I don't really have rage issues, I was just having a hard night the other night but I am extremely grateful for my sweet husband who bought me an amazing knife that now I will be excited to use to make dinner every night.